Belonging pieces that wont fit. A vision of unity.

“Oh, this is all crap!”

Today, I stared in exasperation at a creative process that I actually enjoy: I was making my Advent wreath. But everything went wrong in advance:

The apartment was a creative mess, the Christmas cookies hadn't been baked yet, and I had a great need to “just be” in my luggage. I was frustrated and not in the Christmas mood at all. A mountain of branches lay before me that somehow belonged together: I just didn't know how yet.

This mood was fueled by a year-long brooding:

Why, darn it, don't the puzzle pieces that belong together fit together?

Inspired by the joy of Jesus, I had followed some Christian ministries, and I recognized something in them that also drives me: the longing for Eden. The inner joy, the hope, the longing and one's own dreams as a path. The experience of Jesus. Again and again I met him there, the one my heart loves: the Holy Spirit, unmistakable, unambiguous, in all his familiar personality. It made me radiate, recharge, shine. I recognized him by his unmistakable, deep, subtle, and almost English sense of humor. I recognized him in the way he worked in the lives of others. I recognized him in his subtlety and cunning, which leaves us with a deeply kind, “Yes, that's me!” before we mutter, “Yes, you're right. I'm sorry.” I recognized him in “Certainty” tissues, which were the answer to a deeply felt uncertainty, accompanied by a smirk: “Take a tissue and dry your tears. I am Certainty.” Little building blocks that I found here and there, that embraced me and filled me with his reality. I glowed in joy and love.

How does it all fit together, Lord? Why are we so foreign and yet so familiar?

It took me about as long to understand what Jesus wanted to tell me as it took to tie the Advent wreath after all: there are different approaches, but it is the same dream. There are different target groups and priorities, but the same perception of God. It is culture, it is emotionality versus intellectual freedom, it is archetypes versus free identity in Jesus, connected in the same dream: healing, restoration, identity. Longing that points the way home. It is the desire to plunge headlong into the adventure that Jesus has in store. It is the same joy in his liveliness. It is the same answer to the question: Why are you a Christian – and a fundamentally different expression in methods, concepts, ways. A different focus. Nothing more.

I believe that much of the division in the Christian community is based on such differences. What is the right way for us is not for the other, because God has created us uniquely. But often we doubt the way of the other because it does not seem right to us. One of us works with dedication in the healing of traumas, the other has devoted himself entirely to the gender issue. The next one calls artists and individualists, the next one lost, wounded people. Some meet Jesus around a campfire, others in the liturgy of the church, still others while walking and writing poetry. He is always the same, always the one who unites our hearts.

And yet, it seems that there are not many who understand God as a loving Father: they all gather around C.S. Lewis, Henri Nouwen, Brother Lawrence and Brennan Manning. They all find themselves in the same books, share the same thoughts, the same yearning of the heart. Perhaps it is the case that one must first recognize grace, first understand that dreaming, wishing and hoping is not only allowed, but deeply desired, so that the door to Narnia opens.

And so I find my own way with those who don't fit into categories, who are artistic, chaotic, free and intellectual. Those who throw fire torches into the air and seek the depths, whether they write, sing, paint or knit. We are all needed, because without us creative minds heaven would be a boring place! Let's bring our many colors into the world.

In the next few weeks, let's all run into Jesus' arms together. Let's understand that our Advent wreaths look different, or are not even on the table! Let's understand that we bring our creative expression into the world exactly as it is meant to be. But let's also understand that there is a family that finds itself where God is good, alive and approachable.

“Abba, we are yours!”

And the Advent wreath? Oh, that's ready! And while the fairy lights are glowing, I think: cookies? Oh, those are quickly baked tomorrow.

• What is your Advent wreath that you tie yourself? Where do branches not match or need to be cut?

• Take a moment this week to think about it: What chaos in your life could Jesus turn into something beautiful? Where is he asking you to trust in his creativity?

Wherever you are on your journey:

The most important thing is that we understand one thing: our longing for Eden drives us into the arms of the one who prepared the way for us. And he will come. As he came before. So let's accompany him on the way to his first coming, so that we may find hope for his return. And let's take our creativity and put it at the service of the adventure of reflecting Christ. Make the world you live in more colorful! Give blessings as it suits you.

Maranata. We are waiting for you.

Let the light grow brighter! And in the end, let us find grace. Unveiled, fragile and delicate.

Sibylle.

Worship: "Von guten Mächten"- Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Hier: Alive Worship